Christmas with the in-laws...

What a couple of weeks we've had!
Two weeks ago, we hosted Christmas dinner for John's family.  I wasn't thrilled, I admit it.  I didn't object to his family coming down, but I did object to what John bought for dinner:  a ham, whole milk for them to drink and a pound of butter for mashed potatoes.  So, they enjoyed a traditional dinner on our dime, while I savored a heaping plate of roasted root vegetables John made for me.  I also had a salad topped with hummus.  Throughout the meal, John's 10-year old niece kept making comments about my "weird" dinner.  John gave her a bite of hummus, and she spit it out.  She smelled the boys' almond milk and declared it "gross".  I spent the whole meal biting my tongue.  John's dad did have some roasted veggies with me, and he tried the hummus on some pita and said he liked it. 

After dinner, John's grandma weighed the boys, and she was convinced Sam has lost 10 pounds this year.  He has weighed the same 42 pounds forever.  She's got to be remembering wrong, but she doesn't believe me.  She thinks the kids are starving to death.  Somehow, our plant based diet is unhealthier than the way my husband's family eats.  John's sister, a stay-at-home-mom with 4 kids, ages 8 to 1, doesn't cook.  At all.  I'm not exaggerating.  They eat McDonald's for every meal.  Their oven is used for storage.  Their fridge is filled with pop and "juice".  Did you hear me say they eat McDonald's for every meal?  That's the truth.  Her kids are pudgy (I'm trying to be nice here), and they refuse to eat milk that isn't flavored, food that has bones in it, contains vegetables and can't be easily eaten with fingers/dipped into ketchup or ranch dressing.  And it's perfectly acceptable.  This is what I'm up against.      

A "Whole Foods" field trip

So, yesterday we loaded up the kids and headed to Whole Foods, in search of a seitan product I'd found online (Field Roast; you can read about it here:  http://www.fieldroast.com/).  I have never had seitan.  Heck, I don't even know how to say it.  However, the hazelnut cranberry roast en croute looked delicious and convinced me I should give this seitan a try.  It's grain based, not made of the controversial soy.  Those of you who know me know I'll try anything once, so off we went!

I found the beautiful roast in the freezer section.  I liked the packaging.  I didn't like the $22 price tag.  No roast for us today.  Since we were there, we navigated the aisles (which my husband deemed "full of douchebags") in exploration. 

We got a 6-pack of Cable Car Brewing Company lager for $5.99.  Hooray!  Then, we picked up Field Roast frankfurters ($5.99 for a 6-pk) and almond milk chocolate pudding ($3.99 for a 6-pk).  Lots of produce rounded out the experience (a family cannot live on 6-pks alone).  I wanted to explore the deli/packaged foods more, but since the store was packed, that will have to wait for another trip. 

A borrowed, revised potato soup recipe with review!

I found this recipe for "Easy Potato Soup" here:  http://blog.fatfreevegan.com/2009/02/quick-and-easy-potato-soup.html.   The original recipe is as follows: 

Quick and Easy Potato Soup
(printer-friendly version)
Potatoes can be microwaved, boiled, steamed, or even baked beforehand, but microwaving is quickest.
3 medium Yukon Gold potatoes, cooked and peeled, if desired
1/2 small onion
1 cup vegetable broth
1/4 teaspoon rosemary
1/8 – 1/4 teaspoon white pepper (using more will make it spicy)
1/2 teaspoon salt, or to taste
1 tablespoon raw cashews or 1/2 tbsp. cashew butter (optional)
1 tablespoon nutritional yeast
1 1/2 cups low-fat soymilk or other non-dairy milk

Regular Blender/Stovetop Users: Chop the onion and sauté it until soft in a medium-sized saucepan. Cut the potatoes into cubes and add 2/3 of them to the pan, along with the broth, rosemary, white pepper, and salt. Simmer, covered, for about 15 minutes. Pour into blender along with cashew butter, soymilk, and nutritional yeast. Blend until smooth. Return to pan, add remaining potatoes, and cook, stirring often, over low heat until hot.

Makes 4 servings. Per serving, with cashews: 131 Calories (kcal); 1g Total Fat; (8% calories from fat); 5g Protein; 26g Carbohydrate; 0mg Cholesterol; 306mg Sodium; 2g Fiber. Weight Watchers 2 Points.

Without cashews: Per serving: 119 Calories (kcal); trace Total Fat; (1% calories from fat); 4g Protein; 26g Carbohydrate; 0mg Cholesterol; 305mg Sodium; 2g Fiber. Weight Watchers Core/ 2 Points.

I followed the basic concept.  First, I boiled the potatoes and set them aside.  Then, I sauteed onions and garlic in olive oil in my stock pan with thyme instead of the rosemary suggested above.  When they were soft and delicious, I dumped the potatoes back in and infused them with that yummy flavor.  I added some homemade vegetable stock and let this all simmer about 15 minutes.  Then, I added 2 tablespoons of nutritional yeast, 2 tablespoons of cashews (no milk, as it turned out all I had in the fridge was vanilla and chocolate almond milk) and used the blender to turn it all into an incredibly creamy, rich tasting potato soup.  I topped this with homemade salt & pepper croutons I made out of wheat bread. 

John and I loved it.  It needed a little more salt and pepper, IMO (and my husband thought it would be delicious with the addition of corn).  My four-year old said it was "good", though I suspect his favorite part was the croutons.  My two-year old, who is a notoriously picky eater, probably ate one crouton and 1/4 cup of the soup itself.  That's typical, so I would definitely make this soup again.  Give it a try and let me know what you think!  

True Confessions

There's no sugarcoating this.  I've been a bad, bad girl. 
For 6 days, I ate whatever I wanted.  And I wanted gelato.  And smoked turkey.  And cheese.  Lots of cheese.  I had brisket.  I drank a mocha...with whipped cream.  I even smoked cigarettes at work this week.  Pretty much every day I worked.  And you know what?  I felt TERRIBLE.  Part of it was probably pyschological, since I kept all of this from John (~gulp~).  Alot of it was physical. 

I didn't sleep very well.  I felt puffy all over.  My eyes felt irritated.  I woke up each morning feeling congested.  I was short-tempered.  Friday night I asked myself why I was doing this to myself. 

The "why's" were plentiful.  It is easier and more socially acceptable to follow the "normal" western diet.  Questioning recipe ingredients and defending how you're eating can be tiring.  And let's not overlook the most obvious...gelato tastes pretty damn good. 

So, without telling John I'd lapsed, I asked him to help me write a vision for our family, describing what our health and lifestyle looks like and what we're eating (vision writing is huge in the company I work for).  We watched "Food, Inc" and "Forks over Knives" to get us refocused. 

I'm tweaking the language, so while I'll share the actual vision soon, here are the main points.  For us, as a family, we are committed to eating a mostly plant based diet, which means:

1. drinking/using only nut milk for us and the kids (soy has too much controversy around it for us)
2. eating meat and/or cheese no more than twice a month (John likes having this little clause, makes him feel more in control)
3. avoiding processed foods (no faux meat products or soy cheese for us; In his book, "In Defense of Food", Michael Pollen suggests not buying anything with more than 5 ingredients or anything your great grandmother wouldn't readily identify)

What does that leave?  Fruits, vegetables, legumes, grains...  Armed with dozens of recipes from the good ol' internet, we're ready!  I'll share recipes, what we liked and what we didn't, with you as we go.  Hang in there!

Now what?

Last Friday marked the end of our original, 30 day concept. 

Saturday, we entertained friends from out of town.  We decided to "reward" ourselves with a "free day", and I worked with my chef to create a tasting menu as the highlight of weekend. John and I could barely contain ourselves at the thought of tasting BBQ beef, pulled pork, macaroni and cheese, smoked chicken, blackened seafood, cheese flights, mashed potatoes and gravy, grits with cheese, sweet potato fries with spicy mayo, fried chicken and chocolate pudding.  We had bite after bite after buttery, cheesy goodness, and it tasted great.  At first.  It definitely provided a mouth feel we'd been missing.  At first.  By the end of the meal, the food just seemed overwhelming.  My stomach ached.  The happiness I thought these foods would give me didn't come.  Talk about anticlimatic!

When we settled into bed that night, John said to me, "I don't want to go back to eating like that all the time.  For the past month, I've been in control of food.  Eating like we did tonight, food is in control."  Okay, so we've got some issues tied to food.  It might not be like that for you.  But, the right answer for us right now is to continue with veganism.  We immediately went to the store and replentished the cupboards with barley, beans, delicious winter vegetables, spreads like hummus and locally made peanut butter, nut milks and crusty breads.  Can I say, "We're doing this for life!"?  No, but I can happily say, "We're doing this right now!" 

It's been a month!

Yesterday marked the end of our initial 30-day experiment.  We did it!  No animal product--no milk, no cheese, no butter, no nothing! 

John, who has lost 27 pounds now, said this morning he doesn't know if he feels any different.  Huh?  You lost 27 pounds!!  Maybe I'm more in tune with my body.  I've noticed major differences.  I sleep better.  I feel lighter inside.  I had a completely side-effect free period this month (no bloating, no cramps, no mood swings).  I've lost 10 pounds. 

So, what to do now?  Go back to a carniverous life?  Stay vegan?  Become vegetarians?  Flexitarians?  Pescetarians?  Only time will tell.  Stay tuned!  

Lead me not into temptation...

Forgive me father.  It has been a long time since my last confession.  Okay, I'm not Catholic, but I feel the need to repent after the carnivorous thoughts I had last night.  I am 2 days shy of hitting the one month mark of veganism.  Honestly, it's been easier than I thought it would be.  I haven't had any cravings or felt I was missing out on anything.  Until last night. 
I work at an awesome restaurant.  We raise the majority of our produce and even our own animals (and next year plan to become the only restaurant in the nation with it's own dedicated slaughterhouse on this same farm).  We use fresh, local, organic produce.  We have an extensive cheese menu (and a creamery that makes our fresh cheeses).  We print our menu twice a day because items change as the chef shops.  We have a dedication vegetarian section on our menu, but we are known for MEAT:  We do whole hog BBQ on our pit every day.  We butcher and grind our burgers daily, made from steak scraps.  Brisket.  BBQ Ribs.  Homemade sausages.  Steaks.  Fresh seafood.  My boss won a 2011 James Beard award.  Oprah Winfrey raves about our BBQ beef.  Food Network called our mac & cheese "the best in the nation".  I gained 15 pounds when I started working here.  There isn't one menu item I don't LOVE.  I've relied on our chefs and our incredible produce and grains to satisfy me since giving up animal products, and it's worked.  Until last night.

I was working as "expo".  This is the person that acts as an intermediate between the kitchen and the servers.  One of the main roles of the expo is to make sure that the plates that the kitchen puts up match the order on the tickets (properly cooked, properly plated, correct sides/substitutions, etc...).  This means getting up close and personal with each dish that comes up into the "window".  The burgers the grill station was turning out looked AMAZING.  Hot, juicy beef.  Beautiful char.  Melty cheese. 

My mouth was literally watering.  I didn't crack, but I sure did think about it!  Once I made it home, the craving was easy to ignore.  My husband has hit the 25 pound weight loss mark, and I've lost over 10 pounds, so we're sticking to our guns and continuing on.  In the meantime, I'm staying off the expo line for a while!     
  

Random Musings

My husband called as I was leaving work last night with the "there's no food in the house" plea.  Would I, he wondered, bring something home for us to eat.  I didn't feel like stopping at the grocery store and then making something, so I did what so many working parents do.  I headed to the drive thru.  All of a sudden, as I waited for my turn in line, I had a news headline flashback.  Remember years ago when McDonald's was in the news for secretly using beef product in their french fries and hash browns?  At the time, I thought, "Who cares?".  Yesterday, I thought, "Oh, no!" 

You've ordered through a drive through speaker, right?  Have you tried to test the order takers product knowledge through a drive through speaker?  Ugh.  I'm sure they spit in my salad and fries.  The fries, it turns out, that aren't vegan after all.  Not that I really needed another reason to give up fast food forever.  It's funny how time can change your perspective. 

My Big, Fat Vegan Thanksgiving

Ah, Thanksgiving!  The first real test of our commitment to plant-based eating.  First, my mother calls. 

“Your brother tells us you’re a…vay-gan?”
“Vee-gan, mom.”
“What does that mean, vegan?”
“It means we are eating a plant-based diet.  No animal products, so no milk, no cheese, no meat.”
“Oh.  Why?”
“Health reasons.  I saw this research that showed how people in other countries, who don’t eat as much meat and dairy, don’t have the problems with obesity and cancers as we do here.”
"Uh-huh...." 

Mom calls me back to tell me that my dad doesn’t feel up to having us over for a full Thanksgiving dinner.  We settle on ice cream and cake for my daughter’s birthday. 

Next up, my husband’s side of the family.  Luckily, I wasn’t present when John explained to Grandma Mason we were following a vegan diet.  How did she take it?  Well, she told him about “someone” she knew whose kids almost died because their parents put them on a vegetarian diet and they didn’t get enough protein or vitamins, but she did volunteer to tweak her usual feast to include some vegan options. 

Dinner was well enough.  She made a giant ham, which John and I both resisted.  We had plain baked sweet potatoes, plain boiled white potatoes, plain peas and a giant salad, complete with some yummy wonton strips she’d tracked down since croutons have milk and cheese in them. 


I gave her an “A” for effort, even though we had this conversation after dinner:
Grandma:  “Have a piece of pie, Tab.”
Me:  “No, thanks.”
Grandma:  “I know you can’t eat the crust, but you could eat some apple pie filling.”
Me:  “Doesn’t it have butter in it?”
Grandma:  “Sure, but not very much.”
~sigh~

Then, it was off to my parents house.  There was vanilla cake, per my daughter’s request, and a couple of different kinds of ice cream.  John and I brought two different non-dairy ice creams to try, and everyone wanted a bite.  Here’s the “scoop”, pun intended.


For John, I got Organic So Delicious Chocolate Walnut Brownie (retail:  $4.50 at my local health food store).  It’s a soy based “ice cream”.  It WAS so delicious!  The little bits of brownies and walnuts were super yummy, and overall it was a decadent, rich treat. 


For myself, I bought Luna & Larry’s Coconut Bliss Chocolate Hazelnut Fudge.  This is made from coconut milk and sweetened with agave (so, it’s organic, soy-free, dairy-free AND gluten-free).  At almost $7/pint, it’s not an everyday purchase, but it was really good and worth a splurge once a month or so. 

My mom, who is diabetic, was impressed with the flavor/texture as well as the sugar/carbs in a serving.  Nick, I know you and Amanda are reading this, so feel free to weigh in with your thoughts in the comments below!

We had a nice visit.  John can’t seem to reconcile masculinity with a plant-based diet, so he spent most of the time complaining about this crazy idea I came up with (please refer to my first ever blog to see whose idea this really was!).  Frustrating to me, but understandable in some ways.  I know he is on-board, he’s just got to get confident enough to talk it up in public.  Our first 30-days are almost up, and we’ve already decided to go another 30 days.  The results, which I’ll write about tomorrow, speak for themselves!


Probably my favorite part of the visit?  John, my brother and my sister-in-law were having a conversation about diets on the table.  I’m assuming someone said something about my sister-in-law being a vegetarian.  From across the room, I hear Sam pipe in, “I’m a vegetarian, too.” 
Hearing him say that big word just cracks me up. 


Back home, we had a simple Thanksgiving celebration with just the kids.  My poor 18-year old was openly afraid of the tofu in the fridge, so I went with a simple casserole, Savory Shepherd’s Pie, I found in a vegetarian cookbook my mom let me borrow (Better Homes & Gardens Vegetarian Cooking Recipes for Today).  It used beans, not meat, as the main protein.  I had to make some simple adjustments to make the recipe vegan (for example, for the mashed potatoes on top, I used vegetable broth instead of milk and mixed in nutritional yeast instead of sprinkling cheese on top).  On a scale of 1-5, John gave it a 4, Morgan gave it a 3, and the boys refused to eat it at all (I attribute this to their ages, not the food).  I thought it was just okay, so I’m not going to bother posting the recipe here.

Today, as I am every day, I’m thankful for the freedom to just decide one day to become a vegan.  J     

The Why & The How

The WHY

If you haven’t seen the movie “Forks over Knives”, I recommend you add it to your Netflix queue immediately.  That movie was the one compelling reason for us to consider a vegan diet, and it turned us on to all kinds of books and research. 

In a nutshell, we decided  it couldn’t hurt.  After consulting with our family doctor, who suggested we take a Vitamin B supplement, we jumped in with both feet.  Who wouldn’t want to eliminate these health threats?

1. Cardiovascular disease. Eating nuts and whole grains, while eliminating dairy products and meat, will improve your cardiovascular health. A British study indicates that a vegan diet reduces the risk for heart disease and Type 2 diabetes. Vegan diets go far in preventing heart attack and stroke.
2. Cholesterol. Eliminating any food that comes from an animal and you will eliminate all dietary cholesterol from your diet. Your heart will thank you for that.
3. Blood pressure. A diet rich in whole grains is beneficial to your health in many ways, including lowering high blood pressure.
4. Type 2 diabetes. Not only is a vegan diet a weapon against Type 2 diabetes, it is also "easier to follow than the standard diet recommended by the American Diabetic Association." Read more about it here.
5. Prostate cancer. A major study showed that men in the early stages of prostate cancer who switched to a vegan diet either stopped the progress of the cancer or may have even reversed the illness.
6. Colon cancer. Eating a diet consisting of whole grains, along with fresh fruits and vegetables, can greatly reduce your chances of colon cancer.
7. Breast cancer. Countries where women eat very little meat and animal products have a much lower rate of breast cancer than do the women in countries that consume more animal products.
8. Macular degeneration. Diets with lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, especially leafy greens, carrots, pumpkin, and sweet potatoes, can help prevent the onset of age-related macular degeneration.
9. Cataracts. Much the same way macular degeneration is headed off by a vegan diet, cataracts are also thought to be prevented through the intake of the same fruits and vegetables. Produce high in antioxidants are also believed to help prevent cataracts.
10. Arthritis. Eliminating dairy consumption has long been connected with alleviating arthritis symptoms, but a new study indicates that a combination of gluten-free and vegan diet is very promising for improving the health of those suffering from rheumatoid arthritis.
11. Osteoporosis. Bone health depends on a balance of neither too much or too little protein, adequate calcium intake, high potassium, and low sodium. With a healthy vegan diet, all four of these points set a perfect scenario for preventing osteoporosis

Sign me up, right?  The idea that diet modifications could help my children live a life free of cancer (or, looking at the flip side…the idea that feeding my kids certain food could cause them a life of illness and pain) was the final deciding factor.  Unsure what we were getting into, my husband and I decided to go a month at a time.  And so it began.

The HOW
Note:  This post was written weeks ago, before we got internet at our new house.  More to come regularly now, I promise. 

Day 1

Yesterday, my husband and I committed to eating a complete plant-based diet for one month. The irony of scouring the shelves at Wal-Mart, looking for vegan offerings, wasn't lost on me as I stocked up this morning.

After my breakfast of coffee (What? I gotta give up everything?), I prepared a lunch of quinoa, black beans and fresh tomatoes. It was actually pretty tasty, though it wasn't quite as satisfying as chowing down on a steak. :)

When I got to work this afternoon, I ordered my daily mocha. After the first swig, my tongue immediately darted out to wipe off the whipped cream stuck to my upper lip. WHIPPED CREAM? Ahhhhhhhhh! Coffee cup in hand, I sheepishly returned to the barista and admitted I'd forgot I was vegan. A vegetarian herself, she happily made me a soy mocha, hold the whip. I'm not going to lie. I didn't love it, but I drank it.

After a couple of hours of work, I was ready for dinner. Vegan options are few and far between when you work at a restaurant known for BBQ, mac & cheese and fried chicken, so I got a side of french fries, a side of roasted vegetables (broccoli rabe, turnips, parsnips, radishes and eggplant) and a side of polenta (prepared with water) topped with roasted tomatoes. Sounds lovely, right? In reality, it was just fine...but it didn't hit the same buttons as a meal full of butter, cheese, meat and bread. So, I treated myself with a homemade cherry lemonade. That's right...actual montmorency cherry concentrate, fresh squeezed lemon juice, a touch of sugar and ice cold water. Now that was satisifying!

The big key, I see now, is preparation.  Working at a restaurant where everything is made to order, I have so many incredible options.  Simple modifications made by supportive chefs allow me to enjoy pasta, salads and fruit dishes.  On days I know the kitchen will be too busy to customize a dish for me, I bring my own lunch.  For my husband, who stays home with our two boys, having a well stocked pantry and meals made ahead of time stop him from going crazy.  Soups, stews, roasted veggies, whole grains and snacks like nuts, seeds and fresh fruits keep us full and happy.  The boys (2 & 4) easily transitioned from cows milk to the soy and almond milks we now buy. 

I admit it’s not easy or cheap.  A couple of days ago, as I spent $220 at the grocery store, the clerk looked over all my bags and asked, “Getting ready for your Thanksgiving feast?”, to which I replied, “Nope, just getting 2 weeks worth of food for my family of 4.” 

How We Got Here, Part Three

I've worked in the restaurant industry my entire life. I love it, spending my days surrounded by people...and food. I met my husband when we worked at the same restaurant. Our shared love of zombie movies, hot wings and beer brought us together. John was a big guy when we met, over 6 feet tall and 280 pounds. We spent our courtship eating and drinking, and I quickly put on 20 pounds.

John grew up on convenience foods: Kraft Mac & Cheese, instant potatoes, hot dogs and fast food washed down with a pop or two. My mother-in-law's "go to" meal is meatloaf, instant mashed potatoes with butter, canned corn with butter, macaroni and cheese from that popular blue box, and biscuits with more butter Butter is so important to his family that it's treated like a side dish for family dinners ("I'll bring a couple sticks of butter!"). It shouldn't surprise you to learn his family is plaqued not only with weight issues, but more serious health problems like Type 2 diabetes.

My husband wasn't happy with his weight, but never really motivated to make a change. Five years into our marriage, he suffered from gout, arthritis, sleep apnea and plaque psoriasis. With two little boys counting on us to be with them for decades to come, we began dabbling with dieting. We never stuck to anything, and seemed content to continue as is,...that is, until we discovered Netflix with it's playmate of documentaries about the state of farming and health in our country.  We worked our way through them all:  Food Inc, Supersize Me, Fast Food Nation, Killer at Large, Corn King, Our Daily Bread...we watched them all in horror while snacking on chips and ice cream from the comfort of our couch. 

Then, we watched "Forks Over Knives".  I stumbled upon it really.  Why would I want to watch a movie about veganism?  I don't know what drew me in, but here's the synopsis (from the website forksoverknives.com): 


FORKS OVER KNIVES examines the profound claim that most, if not all, of the degenerative diseases that afflict us can be controlled, or even reversed, by rejecting animal-based and processed foods. The major storyline in the film traces the personal journeys of a pair of pioneering researchers, Dr. T. Colin Campbell and Dr. Caldwell Esselstyn.

Dr. Campbell, a nutritional scientist at Cornell University, was concerned in the late 1960′s with producing "high quality" animal protein to bring to the poor and malnourished areas of the third world. While in the Philippines, he made a life-changing discovery: the country’s wealthier children, who were consuming relatively high amounts of animal-based foods, were much more likely to get liver cancer. Dr. Esselstyn, a top surgeon and head of the Breast Cancer Task Force at the world-renowned Cleveland Clinic, found that many of the diseases he routinely treated were virtually unknown in parts of the world where animal-based foods were rarely consumed.

These discoveries inspired Campbell and Esselstyn, who didn’t know each other yet, to conduct several groundbreaking studies. One of them took place in China and is still among the most comprehensive health-related investigations ever undertaken. Their research led them to a startling conclusion: degenerative diseases like heart disease, type 2 diabetes, and even several forms of cancer, could almost always be prevented – and in many cases reversed – by adopting a whole foods, plant-based diet. Despite the profound implications of their findings, their work has remained relatively unknown to the public.

The filmmakers travel with Drs. Campbell and Esselstyn on their separate but similar paths, from their childhood farms where they both produced "nature’s perfect food," to China and Cleveland, where they explored ideas that challenged the established thinking and shook their own core beliefs.

The idea of food as medicine is put to the test. Throughout the film, cameras follow "reality patients" who have chronic conditions from heart disease to diabetes. Doctors teach these patients how to adopt a whole foods plant-based diet as the primary approach to treat their ailments – while the challenges and triumphs of their journeys are revealed.

As the credits rolled, my gun-toting, four-wheel drive driving, beef jerky loving husband looked at me and declared, with all seriousness, "We should do that."  And so we did.  

How We Got Here, Part Two

Shortly after we got settled in Michigan, my little brother was born. My mom will tell you I used to pray every night for God to send me a baby brother, and I somehow know I loved him the instant he was born. He became my instant ally, my tormentor, my prisoner, my child, my best friend and protector...

After graduating from high school, my brother got married. To a vegetarian Mennonite. Honest to God. A vegetarian. We immediately labeled her "weird" (sorry, Amanda). What does she eat, we asked ourselves? How does she get enough protein? Is she really just a picky eater? Does she actually have some kind of eating disorder? Well, my parents consoled each other, at least she's a nice conservative Christian. No one is perfect. My parents made sure to have a boring green salad at family events to keep the peace.

My brother, like the family men before him, joined the military his senior year of high school. After his wedding, he was stationed in California, the modern day Sodom & Gommorah. Forget worrying about training exercises and the impending war...my parents prayed for his soul and his safety in this den of liberals and degenerates. They probably breathed a sigh of relief when he got his orders to deploy to the Middle East (okay, even I realize I'm taking it a little too far here.  Brother, mom and dad love you.  You know I love you, right?). My mother decided she wanted to see him before he lefty dad told her to go alone. He said he'd never set foot in that state. She started making plans to go alone. He caved and accompanied her. After a rocky start (Nick and Amanda took my parents out to dinner at a sushi restaurant knowing what you've learned about them so fat, do they strike you as "sushi" kind if people?), they discovered wine country, and so the walls began to crumble. They returned home with a new appreciation for California, with it's natural beauty and Trader Joe's.

How We Got Here, Part One

When you were growing up, did you have a paper route? Get paid to mow the lawn? Have parents that gave you an allowance without asking for a chore in return? Lucky you! Me? I earned my weekly coin skinning muskrats. In the overall scheme of household duties, it wasn't actually that bad. See, my dad hunted, trapped and fished. The animal pelts were sold for income, and the meat was featured at the dinner table. I don't remember a time there wasn't some animal being processed.

My favorite picture of my dad is from the late 70's, when we were living in Alaska. He's bent over our kitchen table, lit cigarette dangling from his lips, butchering a moose he'd shot with a handgun. Bare chested, wearing faded denim cut offs, he's a skinny, baby-faced version of the conservative I grew up with. Even with the shaggy blonde hair curling around his shoulders, he looks like a total bad ass. Hell yes, I'm proud to call him my dad.

No surprise my favorite picture from my childhood also involves a dead animal. It's from the early 80's. We had just moved to Michigan. I know, because the picture is set in my grandparent's basement, where we lived while my parents house hunted. I'm all of four years old, wearing an orange knit hunting cap over my white blonde bob one of my dad's ran hunting vests hangs from my shoulders to my ankles. In one hand, I'm propping up a hunting rifle. In the other hand, I'm holding a pheasant, a trophy from a hunt my dad let me tag along on my arm is stretched as high up as I could reach because the pheasant was as long as I was tall. Blue eyes sparkling, I'm sporting the biggest smile as I show off for the camera. This is the home I was raised in.